After your planning is completed, contracts signed and vendors are all paid; what’s the next big thing to do? You guessed it, narrowing down your guest list. The trend I’ve seen lately is that the brides and grooms are usually the ones paying for the wedding. This means most couples are more budget conscious. What does that mean to their guest list? It usually is a painful realization that they cannot afford to invite as many guests as they hoped or had originally planned. A few of our brides and grooms weed out those individuals whom are not close to them by having destination weddings. This sometimes back fires. Those that are close but cannot afford to attend, end up missing out on your special day; and those that are not so close but have the means, end showing up. So how do you kindly tell some of your not so close friends and acquaintances they are not invited? Is there a nice way?
My advice? Tell them the truth without being cruel. You can simply say, as much as you want to have a lavish big wedding, it is not affordable. Make sure your friend understands it’s not personal (even though it may seem so).
Another thing we’ve seen many couples do is have the intimate ceremony and reception on a Saturday and a small cocktail celebration with everyone a day or even a week later. This way they are included in a celebration but you are not having to foot out such a big bill.
So how do you decide who makes it on your list and who doesn’t? Well when I got married between my husband and I, our guest list was about 450-500 people. We had many Facebook postings from friends coming out of the wood works once they found out we were engaged. The thing we asked ourselves was, ” Have we heard from them in the last 6 months?” Why 6 months? Well considering between our birthdays and holidays, if we haven’t heard from a friend for one of those occasions ….well they’re not that great of a friend. We even went as far as to see if the people we are inviting had a vital part of who we are as an individual as well as a couple. In the end we cut our list down to 340 people. Yes 340! We knew each and everyone of them as a couple. There wasn’t a stranger in the room for us. Mine you, we had about 220 family members. After all was said and done, we were really blessed that day and we did not regret our guest list.
Just remember to ask yourself, will I regret not inviting them? All in all everyone will respect your decision. Just remember to be truthful and tasteful in your delivery of the bad news.